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Healing Service
If you have never attended a healing service or mass I encourage you to do so. I was first introduced to the idea of a healing service/mass by a quest speaker at a Cincinnati Catholic Women’s meeting. I have attended a few healing services at the same church (St. Ignatius Loyola) and each time I have had a beautiful experience.
During tonight’s service a husband was given the opportunity to speak about how the healing services had changed his life. As he approached the podium I could tell he was nervous. He unfolded the sheets of paper he pulled from his pocket and began to read. He talked about how his wife has been battling cancer. Just when they thought it was gone, cat scans would reveal it was back twofold. The doctors said nothing could be done and they should begin to prepare. After many sleepless nights of crying and praying together they decided to let God’s will be done. If two months was all they would have, then two months was what God intended.
Together they began to attend the healing service with the intentions of asking God to give them the strength to gracefully walk through the time she had left. One night after a healing service she had a vision (some might call it a dream) that all of her cancer was leaving her body. The next morning she woke up in pain and tired. Later that week a cat scan revealed the cancer had stopped growing and was actually shrinking.
As the husband continued telling his story I became overwhelmed with tears. I bit my lip, like I always do (in fear someone will see me crying) and closed my eyes. I couldn’t help but feel the LOVE this husband had for his wife. I was so choked up by the gesture of him just getting up in front of all these people and telling the story about how God was saving his wife.
The healing part of the service began and people proceeded toward those giving the anointment. I sat back and looked around. There it was again. Another gesture of LOVE! A wife blessed with healing and a husband lifting his hands and surrounding her with his LOVE. Wow, it just chokes me up inside.
I know a lot of people probably think I overdo it with how much I use the word LOVE, but when the power of the Holy Spirit moves through you………………………….man I can’t explain it. It just takes over. For me, a lot of the time, I think it comes through all the tears I shed. At times it just comes out in the deep empathy I feel for others. But sometimes it has just been in hearing someone else’s story or witnessing the LOVE in others.
I have to tell you I think that rocks! To be a part of that experience, to hear those stories, to see how beautifully God works in the lives around us. Wow, amazing stuff. So if you have never been to a healing service or mass, put it on your bucket list of things to do and let the power of the Holy Spirit move through you.
Luv, Luv,
Julie
Posted in Inspiration, Life
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Stand Still
Stand still in the present
Stand still and look around
Stand still and breathe deeply
Feet planted firmly on the ground.
Stand still in the moment
Stand still in this place and time
Stand still in his presence
And feel the light of his LOVE shine.
Stand still hands gently folded
Stand still and let your worries go
Stand still and voice your prayers
Letting answers gracefully flow.
Posted in Inspiration
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Sand
A new year rolls in and I have high hopes it is going to be a better year. Anything has to be better than the past three years. John and I have always said “together we can get through anything”, but this last past year we even questioned that. We are each other’s rocks, but at times in 2011 it was if a bulldozer was crushing us into pebbles.
Then towards the end of 2011 we finally got a break. I gained full-time employment. After 430 days of no employment (no unemployment); there was light in all the days of darkness. I have never seen my boys (including John) so happy. Finally the Metzger’s could get back on track.
We had lived through a year of beg, borrow and beg some more. We lived daily with collection calls, water and electric disconnection and countless phone disconnections. After a while it doesn’t even embarrass you anymore when the trash isn’t picked up or the cable/internet people are climbing up the pole to disconnect your services. We learned just to look the other way. Still embarrassed on the inside, but doing our best not to show it on the outside.
For me the hardest thing to deal with is the disappointment on our boys faces, when for the second time, they had no presents under the tree Christmas morning. They had experienced this in 2009 and again in 2011. Each passing year they have either grown very mature or have lost all hope. I like to think its maturity and resilience. They no longer ask for things or expect much. Every now and then they will inquire about something, but even those inquiries have stopped.
John and I promised the boys, after I got my first paycheck, we would give them Christmas. On January 1st we did just that. I took the boys shopping and then we all went out to dinner. My boys were extremely grateful for every moment of it; which in some ways makes me even sadder they even had to endure it.
Four days later on January 5th (three days before my 44th Birthday), I lost my job and once again the Metzger’s light of hope was shut off. The pebbles, John and I were left with have now become Sand. I struggle with the sand grinding down so far that all I am left with is dust. So I retreated and decided to take down everything social (website, facebook, twitter). Talking about embarrassment, for me it couldn’t get any worse. Celebrating my 44th birthday became “how could I hide from the world”.
This time job loss seems different than in prior years. I am not sure if it is complete numbness or complete trust. Sounds crazy I know. I just don’t feel as scared as I have been in the past. Part of me says, if we got through 2011, we can get through anything. We still have our home, for now. Most of all we still have each other. The other part of me says, “It’s time to fully trust in God”.
Even though I feel different this time, the ‘trusting in God’ is a hard one to sell (for lack of a better word) to my boys. They keep questioning where God is in all of this. My boys keep asking what have we done so wrong. I even see John questioning it all. I see him filled with anxiousness, worry, and doubt. I see his pebbles becoming sand and it worries me too.
Every day I am thankful for my husband and my boys. Every day I thank God I was given such beautiful gifts. I cry and ache for the disappointment I have caused them all. I struggle with the defeat of, once again, losing a job and not being able to provide. But I am getting to old and I have been through way too much to let all this defeat and disappointment get to me anymore. Our lives are different now. I don’t see us ever going back to the way things where. How could we? Why would we want too?
Our family is so much stronger than I could have ever anticipated we could be. We have weathered many storms and in some ways have prepared ourselves for others. We are survivors and dreamers. We are lovers and believers. And sometimes, like now, we are carpenters and electricians. We are learning to rebuild and rewire so that we can be stronger and shine brighter. And if we have to become ‘sand’ in the process, so be it. Sand is what keeps us from sliding in an ice storm. Sand is what is used to cement our foundation. If sand is what John and I need to be for our family right now, then sand is what we will be.
Luv, Luv,
Julie
January 16, 2012
It’s been a pretty lazy day! No school, kids chilling and I have been writing all day. Spent most of the day working on my memior. Actually printed out what I have written so far and went through it page by page. My son and hubby asked if they could read it. “Not yet”, I told them. Let me get a little more done and then I will let you read some.
Most of my ideas come to me in my dreams or through late night thought and prayer. Recently an idea of a novel came to me. It really all started with a silly conversation I had with John. Funny how those conversations stay on your mind and then fuel your dreams or thoughts before bedtime.
Time to get off this computer and relax the brain.
Luv, luv,
Julie
Posted in Life
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A Story
A Story
A story is a group of words shared among friends.
It can open your mind and help a heart to mend.
A story is a sentence, a rhythm or a rhyme.
When its words are pulled together can celebrate our time.
A story is the people in a town, a city or state.
It can tell of memories past or present, about an old white picket gate.
A story is an ocean, river, stream or cliffy fall.
It words can move right through a person and bring healing for us all.
A story is something said, something shouted or something screamed.
Its words can show you purpose throughout the pages in between.
A story is something shared at a bus stop, park bench or grocery store.
Its words can change the life of a stranger here and ever more.
A story is of the past, present and future wishful dreams.
Its words can cement in your sole and provide the ending to a means.
A story can help a person grow and heal from broken past.
Its words can cling to you like static and the memory forever last.
A story is a beautiful flower, plant or fruitful tree.
Its words can nourish the mind with color, smell and symmetry.
A story can be sharing moment, whether deep or somewhat small.
Our story and words we share, will be blessings to us all.
A story is our daily life we live each and every day.
The words we pray to Jesus, hoping God will share the way.
A story is our life you see. It’s here and in the now.
Its words can turn us to our God if we only ask him how.
Luv, luv,
Julie
Posted in Inspiration
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Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
David Bowies song ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes is on my mind. For many reasons I guess. I have felt changes all around me and I am still ok. Yes, I am still ok!
It seems to have started on January 5th, at 9:30am when I got the call “not to come back, its just not going to work”. Just a little over two months and its over. These kinds of Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes wipe the confidence right out of your vocabulary and makes a person just want to craw under a blanket for days.
When you learn you lost your job 3 days before your 44th birthday, it kinda puts you into “shut down” mode. That is exactly what I did. I shut down my website, facebook, and twitter. I hide settings on my linkedIn account and decided not to answer my phones. Socializing was not something that even interested me. I just crawled into bed and slept.
Family and friends have a way of pulling your butt out of bed and making you socialize. My hubby said I had to do something, so I had a football party. Saturday the 7th I invited friends down, had great food, and watched the game. It was nice, no one asked me about my job. People also didn’t realize it was my birthday on Sunday, so I didn’t have to talk about that either. Its was all football, all night!
By Thursday the 12th, my girlfriends took me out for my birthday. It was nice and something I really needed.
Although I am not feeling great about myself right now, I still believe with all my heart; God has bigger plans for me. I feel so much more at ease this time then last, John does too. Our family has already experienced hell (our own hell, not others. We know many families worse off than us). When you have been were we have been and you have to go back again, you have experience, you have built up resilience, and it doesn’t seem as bad as last time.
Hope is alive! I completely moved my website from Joomla to wordpress so that I could set it up more like a blogging site. Started reading more about prayer. Working on finding a job and getting ready to start back to school this week. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!
Luv, luv,
Julie
Posted in Life
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Pray~Hope~Believe
When you feel surrounded with Joy and Grace.
Remember the smile on Tony boy’s face.
When you feel the sun upon your skin.
Remember the strength he had within.
When you take some time to sit and pray.
Remember the years you watched him play.
When you fill with tears and lost all Hope.
Remember the words of God he spoke.
When your heart aches for just one more day
Remember his “Yucks” have gone away.
When you believe he is in a better place.
Remember his hugs and warm embrace.
When you feel like life just isn’t fair.
Remember the ones who love and care.
Tony’s work on earth has just begun,
He is in heaven with the father’s son.
When you feel an Angel from the heaven’s above.
Remember Tonys’ gift of Courage and Love!
Tony inspired us all to pray, hope and believe,
with the spirit of a warrior we all could see.
Posted in Inspiration
Tagged Angel, Beleive, God, Heaven, hope, love, Merk Family, Pray, Tony Merk
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Prayer – The Mission of the Church
Prayer: The Mission of the Church (Ressourcement: Retrieval & Renewal in Catholic Thought)
by Jean Danielou
Julie is reading this book
Prayer- Chapter 2
Prayer ought to be in our lives something as simple as our relationships with the ones we love, as natural as the air we breathe. (Daniélou)
Love, on the other hand, is the very fact of a communion established between two beings situated on a level that is more profound than the sphere of our feelings. (Daniélou)
Loving God means knowing that we cn count on God and tha God can count on us in spite of our emotional complications. Referring to the theological virtues, Jacques Rivière once said that “Faith means to beleive in God in the spirit of appearances; charity, to love our brothers in spite of what they may do to us; hope, to hope for spiritual good even when they seem to be impossible.” (Daniélou)
The best way to love others is to fulfill our task well. There are “virtuous” people who wear themselves out because they beleive they are responsible for everything. Sometimes this can create perpetual bad conscience. (Daniélou)
A world that threatens to die from spiritual suffocation.
“I exist only to the extent that I am loved.”
“Lord, Teach Us to Pray the Our Father” – Chapter 3
Meditation is a penetration into the meaning of things we already know — or, things we think we know, but whose contents we are, in reality, far from having understood.(Daniélou)
“When you pray, go into your room and pray in secret. And your Father sho sees in secret will repay you” (Matt.6:6)
What turns us away from God and keeps us from praying is less than the number of words than it is the number of desires and worries that preoccupy us.” (Daniélou) I have to say AMEN here!!!
Posted in Prayer
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RTG Website Redo
Decided to make things simply and change my website. Since most of what I do is write, I though I would change the look and feel of the site. So bare with me as I go through these changes.
Luv, luv,
Julie