No TV for 30 days. Can you believe day thirty has arrived! It’s hard for me to believe I have not watched TV for thirty days. Well almost……..
I turned on the TV yesterday for about 10 minutes. I felt like I needed a change. But it was weird because it didn’t last long and I couldn’t even concentrate on what was actually on the TV. So I turned it back off and went about my day. Even my son asked me why I had it on. Love how when I do these challenges my family it right there behind me making sure I stick with it and get through it. They have been so supportive. Sitting in a room with me, no TV on, has given us more time to talk and in some cases just share some quite time together. Most days we would all eat in front of the TV, but over the past month we have just been eating dinner together, mostly outside, with no TV. I love every minute I get to spend with my boys.
In the past days since I have updated (days 17-30) I started reading R. T. Kendall “How to Forgive Ourselves Totally”. I am reading the Bible more. I purchased 5 more books to read. I attended a YouLead Conference that coincided with the Beth Moore Event and I attended her event on a Friday night and Saturday morning.
I got a lot out of the YouLead events, but was kind of neutral on the Beth Moore Event (I know people are going to say “Are you crazy, she was amazing”). Don’t get me wrong Beth Moore was and is a great speaker/preacher/evangelist. She is someone I would love to hang out with someday. I learned from her bible teaching and it made me want to go back and learn more. Which I am doing. But I didn’t have one of those tear jerking, out of body, holy spirit moved through me kind of experiences. To me the most beautiful moment was listening to 10k women singing and praising God. Now, that to me was breath taking. Would I go see her again, most likely. She had a way of teaching the bible that made it interesting.
I also came to the conclusion in these last days that it was time to say goodbye. I have been a member of my church for over 14 years, but have not attended church there for the past three months. I have been on a personal journey to find a new church/home.
In my search for a new church/home, I find I am missing the prayers that are said, the Eucharist that is given, and the repetitiveness of it all. The biggest thing I miss is the saying of the “Our Father”. I find it a little strange other churches, I have attended, don’t say it and I miss it greatly. But what I love about the other churches is the singing, the welcoming, the opportunities for other ministries. I am looking for a balance of both and have not yet found it.
For some odd reason I was drawn this Sunday to go back to the church I belong too. I wanted to get a little bit of what I had been missing so much. But as I sat there an looked around I began to become overwhelmed with the feeling that this was no longer my home. The music was beautiful, the prayers comforting and the Eucharist ever so present. But my heart was telling me it was time to say goodbye. The church seemed smaller to me and the vibe felt different.
A sadness came over me. This is a church that taught me so very much, excepted me for who I was (sometimes), and believed in my leadership skills. But it didn’t feel like home anymore. This church was part of me when I excepted God as my Lord and Savior, when my faith grew stronger, and when I had lost all faith. I felt comfort, love and support. So why is it now I don’t feel like this is home anymore? I am not completely sure, but I know in my heart it is time to move on.
I have a feeling that I will be moving on from more things in the coming months. It’s all part of my healing process, writing my book, and listening to God’s word.
Ps. I am adding Facebook to my No TV Challenge for the month of July. So I will be taking FB off my phone and will only be on it to send out updates. Will reconnect in August. Have a blessed month!