In the fall of 2010 my faith was challenged like no other. My husband had just started a job after being laid off for two years and I was losing a job I loved. Our financial state was declining dramatically, losing everything over the next few years but our home. We learned so much through those years. #Love, #family and #resiliency. I personally stepped more into my faith than I ever had before. Praying daily God would get us through. And there is no doubt he did. God never left us.
As my faith and trust in God grew deeper it would seem as if the people around me became distant. Not only friends, but family. My son’s grew older and began to question God more and more. One deciding that he no longer believes in God (Something I did at his age). My husband remained on the sideline. Where he has been for the past 20 years of my life. Believing in God, praying to God, but never taking it any further than that. All these I have turned over to God.
When you are digging deeper into wanting to know God more, having the support of your family and friends is, at minimum, helpful. Don’t get me wrong. My boys, my husband too, support me in whatever it is I want. But they don’t necessarily participate in the process (if that makes sense?). As for my friends, our priorities changed. Mine going in one direction and theirs in another. Their lives where changing dramatically and so was mine. Before I knew it I felt all alone in the journey of seeking God.
In 2014, a year after graduating college, my heart was drifting away from my church. A church I dedicated 10 years of my life too. A church that helped me grow deeper in my commitment to know the Lord and to serve one another. I am so thankful for the years the catholic church instilled God into my heart.
The more tugging and pulling away from the church the more and more I felt as if I no longer belonged and I began seeking a new home. I tried many different churches, classes, and groups, but I have yet to turn my heart over to a new church home. Until then, I will continue to read my bible, books and take group study classes that will help me along my journey.
I share this with you because I know I am not alone. I know their are others who feel as if they are on this journey of seeking God all by themselves. That the people who surround them don’t understand, or at times don’t care, about the depths in which you seek God. Maybe you feel as if your family or friends don’t find it as important. So you pray alone, read alone and seek his holy presence alone.
I want you to know you are not alone. Even though it feels like a lonely Island of faith, God is with you. God commands us to be #Strong and #Courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” – Joshua 1:9
This brings me peace. I still remain on the Island of Faith and look forward to the day I jump deep into the waters of the unknown. It will be my trust in the Lord that will give me the strength and courage to swim.